Nightmare before Christmas

Once again I went to the wonderful ATP festival at Minehead. Although more than a bit chilly, it was a brilliant mix from the eccentric world of music:

My top ten of the weekend were:

• The Dirtbombs: fun, poppy, with a seemingly very camp front man (I think it was just his dad dancing) http://www.myspace.com/dirtbombs
• Meat puppets: a tendency to wanky guitar solos but geniuses nonetheless. One of them has just got out of rehab, the expression on his face tells me it may have been too late. http://www.myspace.com/themeatpuppets
• Os Mutantes: mad Brazilian people. I had no idea what they were singing about but it didn't seem to matter, there were sequins and capes, and that is important. http://www.myspace.com/osmutantes66
• Junior Brown: Old school country with a kick preformed using a double necked guit-steel guitar. They all looked very smart and had permanent fixed grins on there faces. Do not be deceived by there wedding band look! http://www.myspace.com/juniorbrown
• Fantomas: Mad and arty, they performed their directors cut album of interpretations of movie sound tracks, loud and brilliant. There new album is about the month of April. What's not to love. http://www.myspace.com/fantomasband
• Taraf de Haidouks: Romanian Gypsy's who had people crowd surfing, caused havoc by playing outside the door of the venue when their time was up and generally had a good laugh. http://www.myspace.com/tarafdehaidouksbandofgypsies
• Leila: despite being beset by sound problems that would have caused most people to flounce off in a girlie strop, she made a big noise and I would have liked the opportunity to see her under better circumstances. http://www.myspace.com/leilaarab
• The Damned: I had forgotten that they weren't all commercial poppyness. They got back to their routes and made some loud punk noise. Oh, and Captain Sensible got naked whilst singing Happy Talk. Those were the days! http://www.myspace/officialdamned
• Farmers Market: The most eccentric act of the weekend. A kind of pan-European jazz band with accordion and jingle bells mixed in. Fun to watch apart from a most terrible version of Ferry across the Mersey. http://www.myspace.com/farmersmarkettheband
• The Melvins: No list would be completed without a mention to the Melvins. Consistently good. They played here in their current day and 1983 lineup. Mr Buzz Melvin ALSO popped up in Fantomas and Porn. I worked out that he played at least 3 gigs a day for 3 days. They don't call him Buzz for nothing. http://www.myspace.com/themelvins

Also, a note to the Fuck Buttons, I know you are brilliant, I did buy your album whilst I was there (have been meaning too for a while) and I enjoyed your DJ stint. However, there is no need to follow me around. You were everywhere I went over the weekend! Such sweet boys. http://www.myspace.com/fuckbuttons

Grease lightening

Its all about Jamie again today as I went to see him as Danny in Drag Grease last night.

It was hilarious, Jamie's wig was stupendous, and I was very impressed with the dual outfit, one half pink lady and one half t-bird. The photos aren't on the site yet but should be soon.

http://www.absolutelydragulous.com/gallery.html

Apart from having a bit of an identity crisis it was really interesting to see the 'girls' drag kinged up. It opens up a whole new realm of possibilities around sexual identity.

Happy birthday Mr Berner

Last night we ventured to a new venue to see the ever entertaining Geoff Berner. It was the last gig on his tour, and his birthday so we were all in a good mood.

The venue was good but a little small, Geoff has us all lined up like a school photo with the shorter people sitting on the floor at the front. He also played two sets so that we could rotate.

http://www.myspace.com/blackgardenia93
http://www.myspace.com/geoffberner

There was a lot of singing along and joviality, and a particularly hilarious moment when the management mistook my friend for Mr Berner and was asking him questions about his equipment! They are both bald! Anyway, it was a good but late night, I look forward to seeing him again when he comes our way.

Peter and the wolf

I was with my nephew at the playing of Peter and the Wolf this weekend. He found it very exciting, and was on the edge of his seat throughout. My only complaint was you couldn't see the percussion section enough, and this is always the fascinating bit for kiddies.
http://www.halifaxorchestra.org/

3 observations:

• The ladies in front kept turning round and glaring at us every time he wasn't completely silent.
• The man behind us congratulated my nephew on his appreciation of Prokofiev's piece
• The ladies in front glared at my nephew when it was in fact the man behind tapping his feet.

Note to miserable ladies: Do not expect silence at a family concert. Why don't you go home, listen to it on a CD and have a cup of tea or a nice sherry.

Berthing in Worthing

The good ship Jamie's (http://www.jamiewatson.net/) birthday came to rest in Worthing on Saturday when we went to see the wonderful and quite rude Drag with no name (http://thedragwithnoname.com/).

Its been a while since I have seen him and I was reminded how very funny he is, so much more than just a drag act. My favourite bits where his spot on impressions of other Brighton drag acts, and his version of the lady from fat fighters.

It was a great night, and the Jack Horner pub seemed to be the hub of the community in Worthing. I would definitely go back.

The evening was finished off by a few drinks at Leg ends, always entertaining, and always dangerous to the liver (http://www.legendsbrighton.com/bar.html), it closes at 5!

We didn't last that long as the birthday boy was getting a little worse for wear. We ended the night drinking red wine/hot chocolate (both in my case) whilst watching the repeat of x factor - who says we are getting old.

Going loco down in Catford

I was Miss local girly last night as we decided to investigate the area's pubs.

Yes I know its been a year since I lived in Catford but its the first time my mortgage has allowed me the luxury of willy nilly local drinking on a school night.

We tried the Blythe Hill Tavern as we were keen to try out the Irish music night. What a nice pub it is. The music was very good and quite unintrusive and there was a nice roaring fire, i.e. it was boiling :-)

Where next...maybe the Perry Hill?

Bagpuss: I met Emily

Emily's Cat Bagpuss: The most Important, the most beautiful, the most magical, saggy old cloth cat in the whole wide world.

I met Emily the other day. In fact I have met her twice but she kept very quiet about it the first time.

Emily, is one half of totalpap
http://www.totalpap.co.uk/
an artist and illustrator, I went to visit her as part of the artists open house. She has a mad garden, with several sheds, workshops and a diving bell. She is a lovely woman, and looks remarkably like someone I once knew which shocked me last time as well.
Anyway, there was a dog angel looking at me and I have now adopted it.

Greetings from San Fran

I thought I would write this now before I get home and the real world takes over.

Ten things I love about San Francisco:

• my sister obviously otherwise I wouldn't be here
• the food: the Senagalese and the Afghan restaurant particularly stick in my mind
• the bookstores: I have bought loads of book bargains including a wonderful book on London travel called the London Spy, written in the 70s. Its hilarious
• Yosemite: not strictly in San Fran but wonderful none the less. All the better as we narrowly missed the massive landslide that hit the camp in the days after we left
• Alcatraz: so interesting. I never knew that the Indians claimed it for 19 months as their land.
• village people Christmas tree decorations in sausilito
• the mission, where the cool kids hang out
• the castro theatre: never have I enjoyed Bridge on the River Kwai so much
• finding spots that were the inspiration for Tales of the City. Including the legendary Safeway's.
• Japantown: full of great Hello Kitty purchases.

Five things I hate about San Francisco - I actually couldn't think of 10!

• Haigh Ashbury: commercialised hippiness at its worst
• attracting too much attention: worse than walking through West Croydon!
• tax on shopping: I don't do maths, I can't work it out and now I have an change mountain
• nutters on buses: yes I know it happens in London too but I'm on holiday and they smell
• hills: are you trying to kill me! after hiking to 6000ft in Yosemite I need a nice gentle stroll.

Seasick Steve - all washed up...

...For me anyway. Lovely guy, brilliant musician, but the Royal Albert Hall killed it for me. Some people unfortunately don't suit being famous and he is on of them.

The evening though was hilariously helped by two guys having a punch up because one of them was singing too loud.

Random cabaret

On Saturday I managed to persuade some unsuspecting friends to come with me to see the Whoopee cabaret which was part of the Thames Festival.

Comprised of various acts usually seen at Duckie I wasn't sure how good it would be. I love Duckie but the acts are usually improved by the intake of lots of beer and we were still on pint number one when it kicked off.

It was hit and miss, and some of the acts could not be as rumbuncious as usual because despite the time there were still some kiddies in the audience. However, it was really good to see alternative cabaret being given performance space (the lovely scoop) and some acts, particularly the dance act, where the woman got chucked around all over the place was good fun.

We finished off the evening with some gambian reggae in the neighbouring patch of green space and with me leaving my fleece in a pub in Borough - doh!

Hello Queenie

On Saturday my friends and I did the touristy thing of going to Buckingham Palace. We decided it was about time. Surprisingly the queue had a lot of English people doing the same, and despite the rumours I did think it was worth the money.

Its actually quite cosy for a palace. I don't feel I would feel out of place reclined on a throne there. Come on Queenie, where's my invite.

Rhona get a haircut

Poor Rhona Cameron, note to all lesbian comedians, do not play Croydon, it didn't work for Rhona, it didn't work for Sandra Bernhard, and it won't work for you.

Despite the lack of audience and dodgy mullet she was quite entertaining. I especially liked the bit about the Abercombie and Fitch shop and I will be going in there at the weekend to see how scary it really is.

Hiatus - hernia perhaps

I've had a break from posting due to the vastly time consuming nature of looking after two small children.

Yes, for my sins I have been babysitting my niece and nephew, aged 4 and 7 respectively.

They are not particularly keen on each other at the moment and as you know the weather has been pants. I am arts and crafted out. I no longer have a creative bone in my body. As such, I have nothing to say!

My super hero villan

Your results: You are Magneto
You fear the persecution of those that are different or underprivileged so much that you are willing to fight and hurt others for your cause.


Click here to take the "Which Super Villain am I?" quiz...

Bonde de Role are hot - literally

I took a trip down to the uber cool Hoxton bar and grill last night to see Bonde de Role. What a crazy night. The cool cats were sporting 80s perms and the place was hot, packed and apparently full of tossers - well so I thought in the 15 minutes we waited for them to come on. I thought I was either going to have a claustrophobia attack or faint in the heat!

But all was forgiven the minute they stepped on the stage. Four very over excited nutters. Drinks were thrown, clothes were taken off (I have never seen a woman so happy to be jumping around topless), I was hit on the head with an inflatable palm tree. They were crazy, sexy and cool and I would catch them now before they get calmed down by a well meaning record company.

I would like to apologise to all those on the train home with me. I did shower as soon as I got in honest.

Ahoy me hearties

Last night I went to the wonderfully bonkers Rogues Gallery at the Barbican. This consisted of a group of 'Rogues' playing the songs from the album of the same name.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Rogues-Gallery-Pirate-Ballads-Shanteys/dp/B000GGSMD0

Equipped with a random selection of people who didn't know the words, such as Chris Difford, Susanne Vega and Shane McGowan (Pete Doherty was a no show). They played the album in its entirety (over 3.5 hours).

We were fully encouraged to nip out to the bar, be rowdy etc. but still there were a lot of people who didn't move in that time.

As for my merry band of sailors, I think we had inhaled too many bottles of rum by the end - but the good ship sailed us home.

Please sir can I have some more

Had a really good day in Brighton yesterday which culminated in watching Absolutely Dragulous do Oliver.

Dave Lyn as Fagin was inspired. http://www.davelynn.co.uk/ and the fight of the four nancies was rightly won by Maisie, Brighton's great dame. Jamie dressed as Oliver looked about 12 http://www.jamiewatson.net/ and I can't wait for next month's which is mamma mia.

There was a good turn out despite the hot weather and everyone seems to be getting in the Pride mood already. Roll on Saturday and fingers crossed for the weather.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=44210&l=0ffea&id=611030754

Squeezed out

Went to see an old classic Squeeze at the British Motor Show on Saturday. It was a very muggy day and South London's transport issues weren't helping, but we got there.

For those who haven't been to the motor show, I wouldn't bother unless you are going to the gig as well. its not as big as I expected, there are some cool cars, but not enough for my liking. I did learn a valuable piece of information though, I am too tall for a smart car - they do not have adjustable steering wheels. Saves me looking longingly at the flower power one for when I have passed my driving test.

Squeeze on the other hand were worth the trip. And roll over Jools, Lord Large rocked.
http://www.myspace.com/lordlarge.
They all seemed to be talking again, and it was like a big South London geezer sing along. Most enjoyable. Makes me want to get a record player and dust off my vinyl.

Friends of Dorothy anyone

I went, on my own like a bit of a saddo, to see the Wizard of Oz at the Royal Festival Hall on opening night.

I had been worried that no one would want to go with me, and that if they did, they wouldn't want to sit in the cheap seats (I am on an economy drive).

Although I was in the gods I had a great seat and I was really quite excited. I remember seeing the Wizard of Oz as a child, starring Charlie Drake as the cowardly lion. We met him afterwards as even then I had friends in high places!

It was fun watching all the mad children, exasperated parents and the queens before the show started. The show itself was pretty good too.

I had originally thought to myself that Dorothy had a bit of an annoying accent, however, after listening to the couple behind me bitching about everything throughout the interval, I felt quite sorry for her. They were even complaining that Toto was not the right colour. Correct me if I'm wrong but I imagine the acting dogs pool is fairly small, and toto was adorable - although white.

My favourite childhood memories were brought back by the chorus girls, the munchkins (have to admit I would have preferred little people to children) and the yellow brick road.

I loved it. I have been dreaming in technicolour ever since and have constant Wizard of Oz songs going round my head. Go, but only if you can leave your adult self behind.

Its a hard knock life

Not only is this a plug for my friends next absolutely dragulous performance of Oliver at the end of the month but it also describes the way I feel at the moment.

I don't want to get into the whole credit crunch debate but I am having my own personal credit crunch which has stemmed from realising that yes I have just bought a new place to live and its about time I adjusted my style of living accordingly.

I feel a bit like a student again, and have started looking at the prices of food items intently. Since when did a bag of pasta get so expensive. I remember the days.... Yawn, yawn.

One thing I can not give up is my lovely fruit and veggie box. My little bit of luxury, some things have definitely changed from student days. 17p noodles still taste great though!

Decorating ideas

Although I have been to Brighton a million times I had never set foot in the pavilion until this weekend.

Armed with free tickets (lucky me) I oohed and arrhed over this great over the top masterpiece. I am thinking something similar for my new house, or some of the dragon pictures turned into tattoos.

Truly amazing. You should go if like me you are always too busy in Brighton trying not to look like a tourist.

Also worth seeing was Absolutely dragulous' (and one diminutive diva - my mate Jamie) first performance of Chicago.
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=17965489129

I have never seen Chicago but it didn't matter, they were funny, professional and utterly fab. Next month is Oliver.

Touch of the Stephen King's

Had a lovely evening out last night at Romeo and Juliet (open air theatre - nice but a bit windy), but it did occur to me on the way home that he does tend to revisit themes alot (or maybe my Shakespeare viewing has all merged into one).

Isn't there an - oh I've accidentally killed myself in Anthony and Cleopatra? Was he the Stephen King of the olden days - who seems determined to rehash stories of dogs and cars.

One other thing I always forget is how camply rude he is. Maybe also the Benny Hill of previous times.

Too young for chumbawumba

Its not everyday you get mistaken for a minor celebrity. At a recent gig Geoff Berner gig at Sheffield, our motley crew were mistakenly taken to be Chumbawumba, who were expected.

Luckily for us, the nice door lady decided we were to young for Chumbawumba, and having since looked at a picture of them I am very glad she came to that conclusion.

It has continued to amuse me every since.

Glad drags and fag hags

What can I say about the Sex and the City film that hasn't been said before. Well, nothing. But I loved it. It was like slipping on a pair of comfortable shoes. And believe me, I should know.

Psychic Sunday

Went with my friend yesterday to see the very charismatic psychic phenomena that is John Edwards. Regardless of his psychic abilities, his abilities as a motivational speaker can not be faulted. He loves a chat, and he's good at it.

I found the whole process fascinating, and did wonder afterwards if I was missing a trick on the money front. Am considering becoming a life coach. Seems to be where the money is. A bit sad I know, but it seems that people need someone else to give them the courage to do the things they know they want to do anyway. I am the same. Why is is that we have learnt over the years to ignore our instincts? Is it because of mortgages, credit cards etc.

Sometimes the evidence tells me that I am a proper grown up even though I still don't feel like I am.

Disgruntled from the UK

Why oh why did Russia win the Eurovision? Every year I turn a blind eye to the fact that no one votes for us but enough is enough. It was the worst song ever.

As a lover of Eurovision we had a party and for the first time in my history of scoring I gave minus points. I have given zero before but have never ventured into the minus zone. I can only think that they won because they were standing over all the Eastern European voters with big guns. When you go to these countries they all hate the Russians.

Lets hope Terry doesn't quit though. If he does I may have to quit watching it altogether!

The party was great. And there was some excellent fancy dress going on. We had pirates, Terry, the Ukrainian cross dresser from last year and an Abba throw back. And, I really did look like the little Serbian lesbian. It was uncanny!

Can we ditch our Americans friends and get back in the European fold before next years one - please!

Cinema museum

Had an interesting trip to the cinema museum on Saturday. This quirky place is full of fascinating cinema stuff, based in an old work house in Kennington that used to house Charlie Chaplin's mum.

A lot of the stuff is boxed up due to lack of space which is a shame. I could have spent ages in the photo room, which was mostly files, but I had a delve whilst the guide was talking and cane across pictures of Harrison Ford, daleks and some dashing chap that I couldn't quite identify.

Unfortunately the museum has to move on at the end of the month. I hope though that they end up with a bigger space where they can display more of there items.

The collection of ashtrays for one is classic. There are also a couple of sets of cinema doors, some projectors, reels of film,a Felix the cat and lots of movie poster boards.

This trip was followed by an equally quirky expedition to the Little Apple in Kennington, which seemed to full of happy drunk people who possibly hadn't gone home last night.

Sausage by the sea

I was in lovely Brighton last night for the camp fest that was girls aloud. Having taken the afternoon of work it felt very naughty browsing the shops and reading my book on the beach.

When the troops joined me we checked in to our hotel (apparently not the only Girls Aloud customers they had) and set about the task of having a few pre gig drinks...

And its a good job we did. We all had a whale of a time but, the singing was terrible (except - it was universally agreed - for Nicola, who was fab [I know, I know I am a little biased but they even said so on the radio this morning so it must be true]).

They have great energy and I would recommend them, if like us, you don't take things to seriously.

Afterwards we did the obligatory pub crawl which included Legends - the only place really with a bit of life late on a Tuesday - and today I am feeling just a wee bit exhausted.

It was nice to get to Brighton again. Someone give me a highly paid job in the area so I can afford to live there :-)

...I love my wii

...They really should rename them though...

Also, the wii fit is at the post office so I will be up with the larks tomorrow to go and pick it up. Very frustrating to have a free day and no wii fit to play with. Might have to have a go and play golf instead. I am pretty sure that my virtual golf playing is infinitely better than I would be at a real life game.

Had an interesting night last night. Went to see some custard jazz. It was all pretty civilised at the 100 club apart from the inordinate amount of pissed people there. Especially mad white top woman. You know who you are.

My frustration at not being multi-talented and able to play trombone, sax and trumpet was palpable. They were all very professional and bizarrely didn't seem to know each other at all. I prefer my jazz a bit free form so I would recommend a few nights out on the lash to get some creativity flowing.

Anyway...must go and be domestic. The garden waits for no woman.

Stay well back

Went to a great gig yesterday, the Legendary Shack Shakers. They were as usual on bonkers, energetic form and we managed to get a good spot in the packed venue away from the path of bodily excretions.

For those of you who have not heard of the Shack Shakers - legendary or otherwise - the lead singer is well known for showering the crowd with snot and sweat - nice! I would also like to thank the cute punk girl for brightening up my day.

I also managed to finish my entry into a travel writing competition yesterday. I decided it was about time I actually started trying to be a writer, rather than always saying I'd like to and never finishing anything.

And...the hunt continues for a wii fit. I finally caved and have a wii winging its way to me now - hopefully. I tried out my mates wii fit and I really loved it. Here's hoping I can get one soon.

Hope not hate

Yes its the day of the elections and everyone is talking about it. I'm not going to, but I am going to tell you about the gig I went to last night.

It was organised by Hope not hate and was a night of rock against racism. What surprised me where the amount of campaigners and cameras outside the event. I did have a bit of a feeling they were preaching to the converted. I didn't spot any nasties there.

Inside there were speakers in between the music. Tony Benn seems to be a lovely man and he is a very good motivational speaker. I would also like him to be my grandad!

It was fun to see the Levellers again. It made me think back to the days of greenpeace rallies and sunny drunken days in fields. Rainy wednesday nights in Brixton isn't quite the same but the thought was there.

Misty in roots were brilliant and I think the only downside to this brilliance was that Alabama 3 ended up having to do quite a short set which was a shame for them. They have been known to play for hours on end, so 20 mins or so seemed a little bit wrong. They were in fine form though. Except for the suit wearing with no t-shirt underneath - No! This is never a good look.

Ended the night by sharing a taxi with the pianist from the Ritz. What a very nice man he is. Lives round the corner from me.

Hibernation

Have been having a quiet period lately. Partly due to lack of cash and partly due to lack of motivation. I'm not sure if its because the weather has been a bit pants but spring has not sprung in my house.

Hopefully I will perk up soon. Can some arrange me a windfall and a little bit of sun please, I'm sure it would help. I am off to the seaside next week so I'm sure some fresh air and some long walks will sort me out.

In the meantime I have been hanging out in my garden which needs lots more work, and watching some rather good telly at the moment. Am loving, Bones and Grey's Anatomy. Watching Meredith be so miserable makes me positively chirpy.

opulence and indulgence

Last night I went to Claridges - ooh get me - for my friend's 40th. We had the chef's table and had a brilliant time. The restaurant itself has quite a somber atmosphere but it couldn't be any different in the kitchen.

We sat in a booth, a bit like being in a dinner and had views through to the main kitchen and the pastry kitchen. It runs like a well oiled machine and there were no tempers flaring or people flapping. I was very impressed.

We got a chance to try some cooking - of our own food I hasten to add, and each of the 8 courses was a new delight. I think I have now had the best tasting kidneys in the world and carrot salad was also surprisingly to die for.

We sampled many interesting wines - Luxembourg (who knew) and were all a little tipsy and more boisterous by the end.

To top it all, we have a limousine home. Top night.

Johnny Woo's face wasn't blue

I went to duckie on Saturday and suffered two disappointments. Firstly, the lovely Amy Lame wasn't there. And secondly, the act Johnny Woo had not painted his face blue like he has in the publicity photos. It rhymed so well and everything.

I enjoyed Johnny Woo's (with black face) performance poetry, although my friends didn't look quite a convinced. As always the DJ was great and it was packed - note to self - arrive earlier next time.

In between gallivanting I have been trying to sort out the jungle that is my garden. It is now marginally improved but my back may never be the same again.

A busy week this week, Gogol bordello, Chas n Dave and Claridges all too follow. From the sublime to the ridiculous - moi!

Brighton boys

Jamie had 2 gigs in the Croydon area this weekend so a carload came to my new gaff and we set about painting the town red.

What there was of it anyway...We braved the hideous weather and arrived at the Bird in Hand a bit soggy, and in need of a drink. Its not a bad pub, but it somewhere I don't frequent much, especially as I now live a way away now. I enjoyed it though, the audience were a little reserved but did seem to enjoy Jamie's act.

We then went on to Ego at the Southern Pride. The last time I went to Southern Pride, my friend fell off a table and we spent all night in casualty. Well the good news is that the table has gone, as had most of the people! There were only about 20 people in, and there were 6 of us. We made the best of it and I think a good night was had by all. It is a shame though to see a big space like that going to waste. Go to the Southern Pride everyone :-)

Sword mark of the red death

I went to see the very popular Masque of the Red Death this week and after my initial uncertainties of wandering through dark corridors wearing a mask and not speaking I got quite into it.

They suggested losing your friends and although I was very reticent to do that in the beginning I soon wandered off. And got dragged off by various actors. Once to be force fed wine, have my face stroked and have a monologue delivered to me and another time to be threatened at sword point.

The "play" if you can call it that is really quite brilliant. As you come across different rooms you see different bits of the play. You are unlikely to see it all, and reading the programme afterwards I definitely missed bits. It is all about personal experience though and mine was fab. And the dancing and choreography, especially at the end was super.

I felt exhausted and elated afterwards. Do go if you get the chance.

Alternative panto

I would like to congratulate my mate Jamie on his recent foray into the theatre world as Poppers in the annual Alternative Panto in Brighton. Sleeping Beauty and that little prick was wonderful. Although the site of Maisie (a slightly older lady) in swimwear and snogging Jason Prince was somewhat disturbing.

The Chicago scene was inspired and generally I laughed until I cried. We had a good night out following that and it was nice to catch up with everyone again. I can't wait to see what they come up with next year.

To stem the post holiday blues I am now planning a trip to San Francisco to see my sis in the Autumn, hopefully taking in San Diego and Santa Barbara that have both caught my eye. I also quite fancy the Russian River Women's Weekend.

There is also a cunning plan developing involving Vegas, Bette Midler and either and inappropriate car or a Priscilla style camper van.

Post holiday blues

I have just had the holiday of a lifetime in SA and I am finding it too scarily easy to slip back in to main stream life.

I hoped the glow would last a little longer and the sense of well being would shine a little brighter. But hey-ho. That's life as they say and who am I to complain.

We started the trip in Benoni, and we apparently mirrored Celine Dion's tour with our own mini adventures. This caused me to utter the immortal phrase 'I'd rather be eaten by lions than go to a Celine Dion concert'.

The wedding the trip was planned around went very well and both bride and groom looked really happy and relaxed. We managed not to get too plastered and got up early for safari the next day.

Going on safari is easily the best thing I have ever done and I think everyone should try it. Rhino's at dawn was the best bit. And it all felt very Jurassic park, heading off in our 4x4 looking for adventure.

Our trip ended with 4 nights in Cape Town. A bustling city that it took me a while to get into after the quietness of the bush. It seems like a nice vibrant place and the coastline, table mountain and the botanical gardens are amazing. Not to mention seals and penguins.

I am deffo a wildlife freak on return from this trip. I am hoping to plan something fab for myself as soon as the old purse recovers, which may be some time.

Two good gigs

For the last two weeks its been like a mini ATP renunion. The first week we went to see the wonderful Seasick Steve, who is enjoying quite a lot of fame these days. Apart from the fact I hate the Astoria with a passion, and that the media loveys in front of me were doing my head in, it was a good gig.

He is fab. And I really would like to adopt him as my grandad. KT Tunstall who turned up as well has gone up in my estimations. She couldn't really have gone much further down. Bland is a word I would have previously used to describe her. I think I may elevate her to mildly interesting.

All in all a good night made better by lovely food in the lovely first out and a visit to the new intrepid fox complete with psycho barman. Unfortunately it is now positioned in the place where the well loved Conservatory/Vespa used to be. I remember it fondly. Crap toilets en all.

The week after we reconveened to go and see Alexander Tucker and the Fuck Buttons at the ICA. It was very marvellous arty, experimental noise and we even bumped into someone we had randomly met at ATP 06. It was a good venue, just the right amount of arty people and the right amount of arty noise. A few glasses of red wine and I was well away. More of these please ATP, to tide us over until December.

One again its been a while

Its been one thing after another Chez Helen. I seem to have been constantly ill, then my boiler broke and then I lost the will to live. But I'm back.

Despite displaying flu like symptoms and spending my birthday lying on the sofa I dragged myself off of it on the Sunday and hotfooted it down to Brighton for the HS christmas party (in January). This was a party full of drag queens - out of drag - and general hangers on like me.

There was some excellent entertainment from Sandra - who is so rude, in a good way. And some singing from various other people. Lady Imelda sticks in my mind most. He has a cracking voice and is an all round nice guy. My mate Jamie and his pal the Drag with No Name (Scott) were also fab.

We crawled home around 3/4 in the morning and the next day I had completely lost my voice. Not even a squeak. Too much singing along obviously.

The rest of the week was quiet, whilst I tried to recover. I had to text people to get someone to ring the boiler engineers when it broke down as I couldn't speak. It would have made an entertaining sitcom.

This weekend just gone I had a birthday party - I like birthdays to last at least 2 weeks - pudding and dessert wine was the theme and people really did make an effort. I now have a lovely selection of cheese, bread, fruit and some sweet stuff to last me the week.